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Empathy: Pick up the Baby, Man

Here is a Mini quiz.

Imagine you see a crying baby laying on the street, what do you do?

  1. You call 911
  2. You pick up the baby

“You call 911”, answered today’s CEO at Microsoft Satya Nadella.

After quickly delivering his answer, the interviewer replied back to Nadella:

“You need some empathy man, if a baby is lying on the street crying, you pick up the baby, you pick up the baby”, said the interviewer.  

This was one of the questions Mr. Nadella was asked during an initial interview at Microsoft three decades ago. His answer almost cost him his job. Reason? Perceived lack of empathy.

A few years later Mr. Nadella experienced serious challenges in his own private life and empathy turned out to play a crucial role. Nadella says he developed  “A deeper understanding for people and the challenges they face”. As a result, empathy has become a significant driver of Microsoft’s innovative performance.

Gallup Strengths Finder describes people that are exceptionally talented in this particular theme as being able to sense other people’s feelings by imagining themselves in their situations. It is an uncommon trait. Only 18% of people who’ve completed the CliftonStrengths assessment have Empathy in their top five. This means that most of people actually don’t respond with empathy immediately, spontaneously and consistently (https://www.gallup.com/workplace/258041/empathy-problem-mistaking-rare-talent-business-necessity.aspx).

Empathy in organisations is important because:

  • It makes people feel understood and cared for,
  • It increases loyalty and motivation, and
  • It drives performance.

In case of Microsoft it permeates areas from product and market development, to the ways employees are treated and the partners are chosen.

In The Laws of Human Nature (2018), Robert Green divides empathetic skill set into four components:

The empathetic attitude: Empathy is a state of mind and the way we relate to each other. It urges us to keep an open mind about differences among people and their values.

Visceral Empathy: Feelings and moods are easier for us to pick up than reading thoughts of another person. It serves us as a way of figuring out people’s intentions, wants and needs.

Analytic Empathy: Acts as a supplement to physical empathy. Here we gather information through conversations and it is helpful for buffering judgments. As Abraham Lincoln once said: “I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.

The empathetic skill: Developing empathetic skill is a process. Process requires feedback and interaction with versatile groups of people, the more the better. 

As powerful as it is, empathy is often times misunderstood and misused. Unless it is your natural (top) strength, it doesn’t have to be a central driver of everyone’s success. It can’t be. Your success should be based on talents and gifts that are unique to you. If empathy isn’t one of them, then it is something else.

The point is to increase the awareness of the importance of relating to others and understanding that we have different perspectives and desires. Developing this skill will help you with a smoother ride through life with less conflicts and misunderstandings. Lastly, getting “out of yourself” stimulates innovation.

If I was asked that same question as Mr. Nadella in his initial interview, I am not sure what I would have replied. However, imagining myself sitting in that interview, trying to do my best, I would probably think that calling 911 is a more reasonable answer… and empathy is one of my top strengths. 

Image: Anna Shvets

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