Are you thinking about negotiating for a higher pay or a promotion? Recent Article in The New York Times by Adam Grant suggests that using tentative (weak) language when negotiating for a higher pay can be a source of strategic advantage.
Weak language can be defined as opposite of direct language and uses a disclaimer such as “I don’t know..” and a hedge “I hope”….
For example: “I don’t know how typical it is for people at my level to negotiate,”… or
“I’m hopeful you’ll see my skill at negotiating as something important that I bring to the job.”
Research shows that women who used tentative language were more likely to succeed in their negotiations.
Despite this article being mostly about gender bias – women having to ‘soften’ their language so they don’t appear too assertive, it also has broader practical application, transcending the gender issue.
Indirect language conveys interpersonal sensitivity as well as flexibility. If you are a highly assertive person yourself, you likely know that one style doesn’t fit all.
But this type of language doesn’t have to lack assertiveness or conviction. Effective communication is not only about what you say, but how you say it.
It really comes down to staying flexible in your communication without losing your integrity.
As an example, a reader from nytimes.com (an engineer) illustrates it perfectly on how to hedge an assertion at work, despite knowing that they are right:
Never: “This valve alignment is incorrect.”
Always “It looks like this valve alignment won’t isolate the asset. Can the engineer please take a look at the work package?”
Tentative language or powerless speech is just another mean of communication and a strategic tool.
But unless used wisely, its power can come down to Barbie wearing grey instead of pink.
Use it when appropriate and with conviction.
Image: Alamy, Margot Robbie in Barbie, 2023.
Source: Women Know Exactly What They’re Doing When They Use ‘Weak Language’, Adam Grant, July 31, 2023, The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2023/07/31/opinion/women-language-work.html